It wasn’t my idea. (None of the good stuff I do is.) My sister Deirdre saw me wallowing in a dark place, and she said, “Manda, you should write a bucket list!” It was the last thing I could imagine wanting to do. I didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone dream of doing great things. I didn’t want to think big thoughts. I didn’t feel capable of them, or worthy. I didn’t want to embrace life in the way writing a bucket list requires.
Until I did.
Wanna see it? There’s nothing special here, a lot of cliche, but here are a few. (I’ll leave out the TMI ones.)
See Paris. See Rome. See London. (Eat, pray, love.) Have a novel published. Donate a million dollars to something I believe in. Run a marathon. Shop on 5th Avenue with no care for the price. Take the kids to the Hyatt on Kauai. Learn to speak Spanish. Pay off all debt. Owe nobody an apology. Go back to Exeter with my Dad. Read the classics. Teach my children how to love. Be happy with my body. See Scotland and the land of the Dickson plaid. Ride a train anywhere overnight. Stay at the Grand Hotel. Help someone else’s dream come true. Feed the homeless and not be afraid. Learn yoga. Stand on Point Loma with a peaceful heart and renew my vows. Hold newborn babies at the hospital in the middle of the night. Teach my children who their grandmother was. Stay at the Plaza Hotel. Take my Dad to the Shakespearean Festival. Take the kids to the Jackson Lake Lodge. Travel with Cameron to Dubai (the place he most wants to see). Feel comfortable investing in the stock market. . .
It’s a start. Have you written one of these? They aren’t goals, necessarily, but they could be. They don’t feel concretized like goals can. They feel lighter, more like dreams, ones that will bless my sleeping and my waking. I highly recommend the exercise if you’ve not done it. And I recommend it in a reckless way (as I do most things.) Don’t edit your desires. Don’t censure with whether you think you’ll be able to accomplish the item or not. Think. Dream. Write.
After I wrote the list, I had an old friend invite me to dinner in Paris. Ahhhh. Thank you Tony. What a sweet sentiment. I think I’ll start a little smaller.
I’m off to yoga class.