Is it love and logic or is it just love?
This is Ethan.
Ethan is a magical child. He knows the lyrics of practially every song he’s ever heard. He uses words like hippopotamus and ridiculous (although not in the same sentence.) When I play him music to fall asleep to, he asks for Debussy’s Clair de lune – by name. He likes teachers and chocolate and inviting himself into the neighbor’s houses.
Ethan also likes hitting his little brother, refusing to come to dinner, and throwing temper tantrums that require alerting the insurance company. He’s broken everything we’ve ever put in his room, so we took everything out – and then he broke the closet doors. We put him in time out, we try to stay calm, we tell him why he’s in time out, but he just goes from 0 to 60 miles per hour mad like no child we’ve ever seen.
My husband and I are studying, trying to understand what we’re doing that is contributing to the problem. We read the book The Magical Child that talks about how children under 7 are in a magical world where adult logic does not apply. And we’re reading books like Love and Logic and Your Defiant Child, which talk about applying real logic to a 4-year-old in order to teach him consequences.
Which is it – is it love and logic . . . or just love? What am I doing wrong?