My pledge on this Monday morning is to stop complaining about how tired I am. I am so sick of the sound of my broken-record voice, I could just go get a Red Bull! I get up at 2:30 every morning. Waaaa! Sometimes my youngest son doesn’t sleep well, so I’m starting on 4 or 5 hours (if I’m lucky.) Double waaaa! You all have stories of fatigue and burning it at both ends, too, I know. My level of lethargy is not unique.
What I am beginning to appreciate is that “I’m so tired” has become the mantra of my life. People expect it of me. They often ask me when they bump into me in an elevator, “Shouldn’t you be getting home by now? I bet you’re just beat.” My husband has taken on the nickname of The Sleep Nazi as he entertains the little boys in the afternoon so I can have a nap and chases me to bed by 8:00 (even during the American Idol finals.)
“I’m so tired” is a self-fulfilling prophecy that makes me yawn even as I think those words. The more I say it, the more exhausted I feel, the more self-pitying, the more I start looking around for a place to get horizontal and close my eyes. Plus, it’s making everyone walk around on sleep-deprivation egg shells. (“Shhhhh! Mama’s sleeping!!!!!!”)
I’m sick of it. Enough!
From this day forward, when you ask me how I’m doing, I will not say, “I’m about to fall over dead!” I will say, “I’m doing so great. How are you doing?” And it will be true. Because I am doing so great. And my fatigue, like the rest of my problems, is probably something you’d rather not hear about anyway. A wise friend admonished me once, “Don’t tell people your problems. Half of them don’t want to hear it, and the other half think you deserve it.” Amen Sister!
There is power in language, our own and other people’s. Today I begin to harness the power of energy through language. When I remove all talk of fatigue and burnout, I make room for thoughts of energy and enthusiasm and life. When the desire to complain sneaks in, when the words “I’m tired” pop up, I will breathe and picture myself as the energetic woman I know I can be.
So ask me how I’m feeling. Go ahead. Ask me.